Relocation

This blog has been relocated to: http://blackvanillawhitechocolate.wordpress.com/

Quadruple Posting?

I promise, I'm not going to cross-promote my blogs every time, I just felt that since I did it for the last one I should do the same for this one, which is basically "part 2". See the Love Lesson after The Shack...

Double Posting

Check out today's post on my other blog. The subject matter is too good to miss!

Labor Day Adventure

Yesterday hubby and I drove the kids down to a friend's house at the Jersey shore. Shortly after we got on the Garden State Pkwy, our right rear tire blew! The van started shaking but O easily maneuvered it onto the shoulder where he could change the tire. We only had a donut, but it was fine. He took maybe half an hour to change it and then we were back on the road. It was weird and interesting, observing myself through the whole thing. My first thought was, "Wow, praise Yahweh that we're all ok." Then a few minutes later, I thought, "Oh, that's right, we forgot to pray and plead the blood of Yahshua before we left, no wonder." But I was so calm and completely unphased throughout the whole situation. It was kinda cool. I had a great time hanging out w/everybody all day and didn't give the tire another thought until we were driving home. This time we remembered to pray :-), and just took it a little easy back up to NY. No further incidents.

As much as I may be painfully aware of my flaws on a daily basis, I am definitely growing, and this little adventure proves it. Go me!

Announcing: The Deeper Life

My husband and I are a part of this discipleship program. If you or your friends or even your whole church are interested in joining, leave a comment or message through this blog and I’ll get you connected…

Would you like to know God?
Would you like to know your destiny and purpose?
Would you like to help other people in a meaningful way?

If ‘Yes’ was your answer to any of these questions, then we would like to help you. There is a way to banish doubt without ending the questions. There is a way to fulfillment and significance. True and lasting love is not fleeting or temporary. Your heavenly Father is calling you to Him and He has asked me to help you to know that you know Him. He has asked me to train you to train others and through this process you will be given to know the Mysteries of the Kingdom of God and you will be a distributor of eternal life, which includes joy and faithfulness.

Would you like to be God’s friend?
Would you like to have friends who will stick with you?
Would you like to be a person that others would cherish as a friend?

There is a way, but you are going to have to seek it out. You are going to have to find within yourself the strength to make an effort to make a change in your life. Decide right now to live the life that you were created to live. If you will do that, then we will do all that we can to help you to achieve that. Contact us now and let’s get started.

Hebrew: The Live Love Language

Over the weekend I had some quality alone time with Yahweh (God) during which He showed me some very exciting things about Hebrew, His favorite language. I worked on a book about the Hebrew letters with my pastor last year, so I already knew a good deal about Hebrew, but this time He gave me a bigger-picture view -- at least of the first 10 letters. It was so wonderful to me that I was weeping as He was showing it to me, and afterward I felt all warm and tingly and completely at peace. It was awesome.

So hopefully I'll do the revelation justice here. Everyone's heard of romance languages, right? Spanish, French, Italian... well as great as these languages are, they don't hold a candle to Hebrew, which is the only official love language, and the only living language. Don't get all caught up in thinking that I'm saying one culture or group of people is superior to others -- believe me, I'm not. God loves everyone in every culture and can speak to them in their own languages no problem. But His native language is actually Hebrew. He used it to create the entire universe, and it's His very DNA. How can I say such a thing, you ask? Stay with me...

Like I said, Hebrew is the only language that's alive, and the Hebrew alphabet is a love story from beginning to end -- alef to tov. The best part about this love story is that whoever you are, in whatever time period you live, in whatever culture you live, it is always a love story between you and your creator, Yahweh. It is timeless and therefore always current, and it is always personal. It's you and Yahweh, eyeball to eyeball.

The first letter of the Hebrew alphabet is alef. It looks like this: א
Hebrew letters also have numerical values, and the value of alef is 1. It also has a value of 26, however, because it's made up of three other letters -- the diagonal line is a vav, and the shorter curved lines above and below it are two yuds. It's a bit complicated to get into on a blog, but this letter is actually a picture of Yahweh and man eternally intertwined. This letter represents Yahweh Himself, but right in the center of Him is the vav, which represents man (or woman). We were always in Him, from the very beginning, and we can not be separated from Him. He surrounds us at all times, in visible and invisible ways, and He asks that we trust Him. The man is off balance in this picture, but supported by Yahweh -- which shows that He'll sweep you off your feet and love you like you've never been loved before if you're willing.

The second letter is the bet: ב
It has a value of two. Because of who Yahweh is -- love -- two eventually had to come from Him, the One. He always had in Him the desire to love man, and so man was always destined to exist as long as Yahweh existed and exists. The two here represents agreement and partnership, but also duality, dichotomy, disagreement. Love is not really love unless free will is involved. You can't love a robot or a clone. Although the potential for pain now exists, so does the potential for great creativity. The heavens and earth were founded on this letter and this principle.

Next is the gimel: ג, which is equal to the number 3.
The gimel is the fruit of the previous two coming together. Their creativity has birthed a new being, which is the upright or rich man. This man is mature and always giving. He/she performs acts of kindness continually, ensuring that all hindrances to others' growth and development are removed.

Soon the gimel makes the choice to humble himself even to his own detriment, and becomes the dalet, or poor man: ד
He is a willing servant now -- although he is still that upright man, he has chosen to serve rather than be served.

As this man is bent over, bowing to carry another's burden, Yahweh breathes His Spirit, His nature into his nostrils, represented by the fifth letter, the heh: ה
He fills him up so much (with His love, His capacity, His nature), that he once again becomes upright as the vav: ו
which has a value of 6 and represents man, because man (males and females) was created on the sixth day.

Now we have the answer to the question, "What is man that Thou art mindful of him?" This glorious creature, that always existed at the core of Yahweh's being, that was made in His image and likeness and given so much care and attention before he even drew his first breath! This is you! This is why Yahweh loves you so much. He knows your true identity, although you are completely ignorant of it... until now, that is. Too late, you've already heard it, and now you are accountable for it. :-)

So now man is perfected, complete, and he receives his crown, as we see in the zayin: ז
Zayin has a value of 7, which is a number of wholeness and completion. This is our goal and our daily decision -- to walk as this crowned man who is led by the Spirit and not as the fallen man we were born into. Now that we are crowned we are ready to enter into the eternal covenant of marriage with our maker, which brings us to the chet: ח

Chet has a value of 8 and represents a chupa, or wedding canopy. You are the bride (guys too) and Yahshua (the visible Yahweh) is the groom. 8 is the number of new beginnings; you enter into a new life together and again are ready to bear fruit.

The tet ט, which has a value of 9, represents a pregnant woman and, more specifically, the 9 months of pregnancy. This tells us that even though we've entered into the marriage covenant, we still need patience -- we may think we're ready for everything, but He may have other plans; Yahweh's timing is perfect and we must trust Him to always have us in the right place at the right time.

Then comes another stage of completion. The yud represents the number 10: י
It is said to be the hand or finger of Yahweh and thus is called the point of creation. It's the moment at which pen meets paper and a new chapter begins. You are now a co-creator with Yahweh, and from here on out everything you touch will be magnified (the values of the letters begin to count by tens from the yud, and then after the next 10 they count by 100s). Your power and influence is multiplied, so now you need to stick closer to Him than ever.

And He gave me all of this on just a short drive to Trader Joe's on Saturday. Isn't He amazing?! I'm looking forward to getting the rest of the love story... the last 12 letters. Hopefully I won't have to wait 'til we run out of groceries. :-)

Your Brain is An Antenna

I've heard this for years from my pastor but I just want to put it "out there" for anyone who may stumble upon it because it was a huge revelation to me when I first heard it. This concept has saved me so much grief, aggravation, confusion, guilt, etc. over the years. It's very simple, as the truth usually is. Here goes...

Your brain is not a "thought factory" that produces original thought. In fact I'll go so far as to tell you you've never had an original thought in your entire life! Sorry if that offends you. Your brain is actually an antenna that picks up transmissions from the unseen spiritual world all around you. These transmissions come from one of two camps -- Yahweh's/God's camp, or Satan's. Positive, life promoting, encouraging, loving, creative thoughts come from Yahweh. Negative, doubting, skeptical, angry, hating, destructive, confusing, worrisome, stessful, lack-conscious, guilty, depressing thoughts come from Satan.

I highly recommend tuning in to Yahweh's station and staying there. All other stations, and there are many, will ruin your life in various ways and to varying degrees.

Don't be so proud as to think you've got everything figured out. What you see, hear, smell, touch, and taste with your meager 5 senses makes up less than 1% of the reality you live in, and your lifetime is barely even the tiniest blip in the history of the universe. You are a tiny receiver that will stay tiny until you link in to the network that created you. As soon as you do get linked, though, you have access to everything the Creator himself is and has. Receive love. Receive limitlessness. Or be a tiny forgotten blip. It's your choice.

Rachael Jolie-Pitt

I had an interesting dream last night. Brad Pitt was my father, and I assume Angelina Jolie was my mother (she was a very famous actress, but I don't remember seeing her face). I was very quickly preparing to leave on a mission with my mother. I was very anxious, but absolutely determined about what I was to do. I had one little brother, and somehow this mission I was going on was going to protect/save him and others. I think we were loading huge machine guns, and I remember packing 2 pairs of jeans and 3 shirts in a backpack... lol.

Knowing what I do about dreams, I expected to get an interpretation, and here's what I got so far.

Brad Pitt is symbolic of God, Yahweh. Both are rich, powerful, and claim to really enjoy fatherhood. (I remember feeling great security about who my father was in the dream.)

Angelina was the Holy Spirit. She was going with me to do what Brad, the father had sent us to do. I didn't need to see her face, I just knew she was with me. I think the clothes (2 pairs of jeans, 3 shirts) also symbolizes the Holy Spirit, because it adds up to 5, which is the number of he, the breath/spirit of Yahweh.

The big guns, I assume, are the Word/Scriptures and probably prayer. And I think the little brother symbolizes the world. The biggest impressions I got from the dream were that I finally had confidence (which I've been lacking lately in real life) and that I had to move quickly.

Get ready, world, the Jolie-Pitts are coming to save the day!

This symbolism is so funny to me because I secretly am fascinated with the Brangie Bunch. I'm not usually into celebrities, but I feel like Orville and I are called to a similar vision to theirs -- rescuing and in some cases adopting children from different countries, and working to end the exploitation and suffering of children around the world. Maybe we'll share a play date one day, lol.

But on a more serious note, I better start praying to find out more specifics about what this mission is so I'll be ready to do whatever I need to do quickly, when the time comes.

Faucet of Energy

As promised, I'm giving an update on a previous post called "Faucet of Youth" (pls scroll down, I'm in a rush and can't put in the link right now). Despite my skepticism, I have to say this water is pretty amazing. I've noticed a subtle yet steady increase in energy, which is what I've been desperately hoping for. I haven't even been eating as healthy since I got the water filter, and yet it's still having its effect. Yesterday I did eat well -- almost 100% raw -- and had a glass of water when I got home from work, and I was wide awake and full of energy until past midnight. UNHEARD OF for me! My bedtime has been getting later and later, and I never feel like I need a nap. This is priceless! :-)))))))))))) Stay tuned for future updates...

A Rare Post on Fashion

I don't normally consider myself qualified to comment on fashion trends... but there is one that I am quite passionate about. I read the best article about it this morning... I'm not alone! LOL. Check it out and let me know what you think:
http://www.newsweek.com/id/150240/>1=43002

Days of the Living Dead?

I just came from a Jesse Duplantis service and I'm all stirred up... it was so good! One of the things that excites me most is a confirmation I received about something I saw a couple weeks ago. My pastor had been talking about how we need to put our faith out there for really big, spiritual things. At that moment Yahweh told me that I needed to revise my vision board. I saw myself putting a picture of a cemetery on the vision board, and then saw myself envisioning/proclaiming that it was empty and that everyone in it was resurrected from the dead.

So what did I do? I changed two tiny little things on my vision board, neither of which had anything to do with raising people from the dead. And I've barely looked at it since, even though I sit right in front of it every day.

Then Jesse comes along and starts talking about a day when he was driving past a cemetery, looking at how beautiful the land was. Yahweh spoke to him and told him he should empty it out. Jesse had to pull over and ask Him to repeat Himself. Yahweh then said, If you don't do it, I will. Jesse admitted he didn't have the faith for that just yet, and Yahweh simply said, there's coming a day.

On the way home Orville and I couldn't stop talking about it. I mean... why not? All these Scriptures started coming up in my spirit, like "He holds the keys to death, hell, and the grave" Hello? Are you reading me? "Greater things than these shall you do in My Name" (Yahshua speaking) If EVERY knee shall bow and EVERY tongue confess, then some pretty radical things are going to have to start happening aren't they? I so wish I lived near a cemetery right now!

I truly see limitlessness at this moment. I would really like to know if anyone can give me a Scriptural reason why this cannot happen. And if it can, who's going to step up? Will I dare? What will it take? When will we start tapping into the power that is in us, Church? What are we waiting for??????

Reformed Control Freak (by faith)

Wednesday nights are my favorite night of the week, because we have an awesome service at our church that night. I usually feel like I'm in an advanced college course, while simultaneously at a comedy club, while also being 5 years old again sitting on my father's lap as he reads me my favorite story. There's nothing like it.

Anyway, last night the main topic our pastor taught on was control, and the concept of realizing that hardly anything is in our control so it's pretty silly to waste so much emotion and energy on trying to control everything. As a quintessential control freak, I listened to the message with a mixture self-consciousness, skepticism, and relief. I know wisdom when I hear it, so why is it so difficult to internalize it instantaneously (I also have issues with patience as you've probably surmised)?

It's so obvious: Yahweh is my Father -- He's good all the time, He's smarter than me all the time, and He speaks all the time. My steps are ordered by Him. He is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent, whereas, let's just say I am not quite there yet. I trust Him... do I not? So why would I ever waste one millisecond of my precious time or energy worrying about anything??? And futhermore, why would I ever even bother to predict or expect things to turn out a certain way, let alone get all hot and bothered when they don't go that way? If it weren't so unfortunate (in my mind) I'm sure it would be hysterical. In fact I can see YHWH laughing His heartiest laugh right now, much the way I laugh at my kids when they do something cute out of frustration or lack of understanding. I know they will get it eventually. He knows I will get it eventually. By faith -- and only by faith -- I know it, too.

Expanding

I really didn't think I was going to like this blogging thing, but it's definitely growing on me. So much so, in fact, that I have started a new blog about my marriage, called Black Vanilla/White Chocolate. I'm actually going to "market" it to some extent (put tags on my posts, connect with other bloggers, e-mail people about it) because I want it to help people. So check it out and spread the word to anyone you think might be interested. I'll still keep up this blog for things not marriage related, but it's more for my own benefit than anyone else's.

Faucet of Youth

My dad and stepmom are on an ongoing quest for optimum health. They are eating raw, mostly organic foods, exercising, and doing everything they know to do, and are expecting to reverse their aging process and live well past the age of 100. Why not? Along the way they have inspired me and countless others to eat and live better.

The last couple times I saw my dad, in particular, I actually noticed that he seemed much more youthful -- the way he moved and spoke I kept thinking I was talking to my brother... it was odd but great. He told me about their latest discovery: alkalized, ionized water. They just bought (and we followed suit) an Orion alkaline ionic water system you can install at your faucet. (I'm not trying to sell anything, I haven't even tried it yet.) The idea is that it purifies your water of all the contaminants, separates the water into alkaline (to drink and cook with) and acidic (to clean with, tone your skin, or use as an all-natural mouthwash!), and gives it a negative ionic charge, which allows it to neutralize all the free radicals in your body. Free radicals are what cause us to age. So if the water takes out all the free radicals, your aging process slows down greatly. Isn't that cool?? Well I think so anyway.

So my "system" was delivered Wednesday night but we haven't been home long enough to install it yet. Hopefully tonight's the night. Stay tuned... If any of my future posts contain the letters OMG or discuss Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers in any capacity, you'll know it's working! LOL.

Pree years old!

That's how Isaac says three... sniff! where does the time go? Actually I feel more like he's 5, lol. But seriously, this kid is such an amazing gift to me. Every day he stretches my patience and cracks me up, sometimes simultaneously. I'm constantly aware that he is more Yahweh's child than mine and that we were put together for a reason... iron sharpens iron, or something like that. It's so cool to look back over the past 4 years (including the prep and pregnancy) and see how much we've grown. And I'm really looking forward to finding out where we're going! :-)

More photos available here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lewinsons/.

Psalm 4:6-8

I've been reading a fair amount of The Message translation of the Scriptures lately, and for the most part I love it. It's the most modern and straightforward of all the translations I've seen, which causes it to hit me in new ways. For example I read this in Psalm 4 today:

Why is everyone hungry for more? "More, more," they say.
"More, more."
I have God's more-than-enough,
More joy in one ordinary day
Than they get in all their shopping sprees.
At day's end I'm ready for sound sleep,
For you, God, have put my life back together.

This may not be the perfect example of the modern slang in The Message, but it so perfectly captures how I feel whenever I'm out "in the world" or watching TV (which is rare). I so don't care about 99% of what people are talking about and looking for these days. Give me a day alone with nothing but a Bible, Strong's concordance, and notebook and I am in absolute bliss! Or just let me hang with my husband and kids with no agenda but to be together... nothing compares to it. I'm tired of all the world's distractions. They're all lies. The Word is the only truth and it's(He's) all I want.

Pray for China

I'm in a hotel room in Philly this morning (last minute business trip), waiting for coworkers to approve the website I just launched and YHWH keeps reminding me to pray for China (I will as soon as I finish this post).

There are over 1 billion people in China... I can't even fathom that. Only a very small percentage (I think it's like 3-5%) of the population is connected to the internet, and they already outnumber every other country for internet users. The U.S. has about 2/3 of its population connected -- imagine when China gets to that level! As I heard someone say recently, "We better start learning Chinese!"

And, of course, the Olympics are set to begin in Beijing on 8/8/2008... those numbers happen to add up to 26, the number of the name of Yahweh, and there are no coincidences... I know He's got plans for the people of China. The bottom line is that this is a critical moment in history for an extremely influential nation, and we Christians need to be at the forefront of what's happening. We need to pray for the kingdom of heaven to be established in China, for Christian leaders to have tremendous favor w/the Chinese government and people. Yahweh loves them as much as He loves any other nation. He is moved by the faith of the oppressed there, and He wants to do a new thing. We all need to do our part, whatever that may be.

Focus

My husband was just expressing to me that he misses me and that we need to go out alone again soon. I agreed, but then later I felt compelled to make the point that we could have more quality time at home even with the kids there. I was saying that as long as we were in tune and focused on each other, we could enjoy our everyday life as a family even more than we already do. (Ok, maybe I didn't put it quite that nicely, and maybe I was complaining that he was saying he missed me and yet was ignoring me as I was struggling to get the kids to bed, but we ended on a positive note so it's all good!)

But now I feel YHWH saying the same thing to me about focus. I whine that I can't seem to find enough alone time with Him, and worse, I'm constantly feeling guilty about it, so I end up spending even less quality time with Him. And He's saying all He wants is for me to keep my eyes and my attention on Him, whatever I'm doing. If I'll just bask in His presence as often as possible I'll be able to love others so much more effectively, and fulfill my calling so much more easily. The point is not to spend an hour of quality time with Him, then run around the rest of the day "accomplishing" things. The point is to include Him in every moment and every thought, whether I feel I'm being productive or just changing my 9th poopy diaper of the day. It's all about Him. He's the center of it all.

Must... Blog... Now...

Aaaahhh! I have been fiending to blog for days and days now, but life and work have just been so busy it hasn't been possible. Even now I don't have time, I just wanted to throw this up as a matter of principle. I'm breaking the seal... I will not be denied my creative writing outlet! :-)

No Pain, No Gain

Pain, as unpleasant as it may be, always serves a useful purpose. When you experience pain in your natural body, your immune system knows to send help and healing to that pain. The nerves are vital for serving this purpose. Emotional pain works much the same way. Tears should never be avoided, nor should they be used to exploit or manipulate. Likewise, anger, depression, fear, when they exist, should not be hidden or ignored, nor should they be surrendered to unequivocally. We all know the expression, "I think I hit a nerve", meaning I think I just discovered a sensitive area in another person -- and for most of us, our subsequent reaction is to steer clear of it. God forbid we deal with it. But we need to hit the nerves. If we don't, the help will never know to come, and the wounds will never be healed.

As a child I knew a little boy who was a hemophiliac. He died very, very young. When a person has hemophilia, their blood fails to clot when they are injured, and they can easily bleed to death. Knowing how often kids bump and scrape themselves, you can imagine the terror his parents lived with every day. Few hemophiliacs ever make it to adulthood. People of the Blood (of Christ) should take a valuable lesson from this. We are often referred to as children in the Scriptures. We are constantly bumping and bruising ourselves. Our Body is bleeding continuously, but this is actually by design and should not be a problem unless we just ignore it and let it bleed. Instead we are supposed to acknowledge the bleeding, spread the word to those close enough to help, and bind together to stop it. And we must be systematic about it; not emotional or judgmental. This is simply part of our daily functioning and maintenance on the earth, not a character flaw.

Can you imagine stepping on a nail and then feeling embarrassed or ashamed of yourself? Would you just put a shoe on and try to pretend that nothing had happened? Would you expect someone else to do so, or criticize them for their pain? Or on the other end of the spectrum, would you start screaming hysterically and saying your goodbyes to your friends and family members? We inherently understand that all of these reactions are completely inappropriate in the natural/physical realm. So why should we think they are appropriate in the spiritual realm?

The Word says that what is hidden shall be revealed. The world would have us believe that what happens in Vegas can stay in Vegas, but sorry folks, this is a spiritual and natural impossibility. Eventually the light will shine so bright that absolutely everything will be exposed by it. Wouldn't it be better then, to deal with it now, voluntarily and with the right attitude, than to have it sneak up on us at the worst possible moment?

It's time for us to grow up. It's time to stop masking our symptoms (and sins) with unhealthy medications, allowing problems to worsen and spread to other areas. It's time to let the Body function as it was designed to function. It's time to start eating the food that was created for us, not the chemical-laden, disease-causing, mood altering counterfeit stuff that's constantly paraded before us.

Only when pain is revealed can the solution to that pain be unleashed. Healing always comes. It's the Master's design. It's just a matter of how long we want to suffer before giving in to it.

Matt. 20:30-34

30 And behold, two blind men sitting by the road, when they heard that Jesus was passing by, cried out, saying, “Have mercy on us, O Lord, Son of David!”
31 Then the multitude warned them that they should be quiet; but they cried out all the more, saying, “Have mercy on us, O Lord, Son of David!”
32 So Jesus stood still and called them, and said, “What do you want Me to do for you?”
33 They said to Him, “Lord, that our eyes may be opened.” 34 So Jesus had compassion and touched their eyes. And immediately their eyes received sight, and they followed Him.